Echo every day

My lovely Echo,

I thought you might want to look back and know how you spend your day to day.

Here is what you are up to at age 4:

You go to gymnastics once a week. We signed you up for a more "professional" track, because that was the only class at the same time as Zoe's. The class is at 4pm on Mondays, so in most cases Faith picks you and Zoe up from school and drives you to Ballard. I put extra snacks in Zoe's backpack for you. When Faith can't make it, usually papa and sometimes I take you to your class.

On Saturdays you go to ballet in the morning, and to Italian class in the afternoon.

On Fridays, your preschool closes at 3:30 in wintertime, so you and I hang out at the doughnut shop across the street. They have strong wifi, so I do my work, while you devour a doughnut. We always step in with an exciting anticipation of the one with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles - your favorite kind. If they have it, it's a great day! If they don't you settle for a different kind. Recently you discovered that they also sell ice cream, and I think going forward, if they are out of your favorite doughnut, you'll be opting for a scoop of mango sorbet.

Listening to you talk and having conversations with you is exhilarating, and you talk so much. Zoe used to be the same at your age, but you used to be on the more quiet side. I think it's also due to the surgery. You have so much more energy. You talk to Zoe at dinner table or when we are driving, and it is the cutest and the most unbelievable thing.

You are happy and generous with your hugs and love. You still love to be carried, and if you are tired, you still lay on my lap, or rest your head on my shoulder if you are in my arms. When Zoe's friends come to play dates, you give them plenty of hugs.

You still say water-lemon, and raccoon, instead of cocoon, as in the caterpillar got into the raccoon.

You absolutely love horses. The hobby horse I got from Goodwill has been seeing a lot of use. You ride on it while watching a show about horses, you also feed it, decorate it with ribbons, and wipe it clean. during harvest (Thanksgiving, Halloween) I searched for a pumpkin patch that specifically had pony rides, thinking you'd be thrilled, but you were too scared to ride. I should have insisted, even forced you. I'm sure you would have wanted to ride it again and again, because that's just how you are. You are a little scared of trying at first, and once you do, you love it.

When you go to bed, you ask me to come later and carry you upstairs, which I still sometimes do.

On to a few specific memories:

On the last day of school before the winter break both you and Zoe had pajama day, and on top of it all, Zoe also had a Silly Sweater day. So the night before she and I were in her room decorating a sweater in  a holiday theme using gift box shaped Christmas tree decoration, bows, stocking, and ribbons. You came and saw us in action, then immediately left. While Zoe and I continued working on our masterpiece, you came back in to ask if you could have some ribbon and some tape. I went to peek in your room and you were half way done decorating a shirt you pulled from your closed in the same style Zoe and i were decorating her sweater. And you did an amazing job, cutting and taping. "would you like some socks too?" I asked. Yes! you said. We pinned two socks on the shirt, and in the morning, we put a chocolate coin in each one.

When I picked you up from school, you told me all excited, that at nap time you ate the chocolate coins without the teacher seeing you.

I love you so much!

Mommy.

Shhh... Echo is sleeping so deep

My love Echo!

I'm finally coming around to write about one of your biggest events of the year.

You had tonsils and adenoid surgery in the last week of August. You are now sleeping deeply and quietly throughout the night. And  with the tonsils and adenoids gone, you are unstoppable throughout the day.

Since you were a baby, your breathing has never been smooth. Nights were consistently restless and noisy with light but continuous snoring sound. There was rarely a night that you wouldn't wake up, climb up the steps to snuggle with us, and continue to wake up multiple times. Mornings were tough, as you woke up tired, and during the day, you didn't display the level of energy I'd see in other kids. You ate so little too. you were prone to sinus infections more than what we were used to from Zoe. You'd make a weird popping noise with your nose and say "I'm popping my nose."

When you were three years old, things got worse. You started snoring louder and having sleep apnea, suddenly waking up, unable to breath. We started taking you more frequently to our bed because I was worried you'd stop breathing. I kept listening to your breath at night. I do love cuddling with you, so now I had an excuse:-). When the first ENT doctor said that you need surgery, we sought counsel with another one, in case a surgery could be avoided. The second doctor tried a couple of different antibiotics that seemed to make a small difference at first, but things went back right back to the way they were soon after each course. We knew surgery was needed, but were worried about the risks. Eventually I talked myself, and then dad into the necessity of the surgery and scheduled the procedure. We explained to you what was going to happen, making sure to emphasize the change the surgery will bring in your breathing quality, and the ice creams and Popsicles you will eat as part of your recovery. Zoe joined in in emphasizing the positive, politely asking whether she'd get a share of the ice creams too. Of course she would! You were apprehensive about the surgery, but it was clear to us that you understood the need. When people asked you about it, you told them that they were going to remove the thing in your nose, and make you breath better.

I made arrangements to work from home the whole week of your surgery. I asked you what flavors of ice cream you wanted, and I filled the freezer with a large variety. I also bought a few new toys, to keep you entertained during your recovery. I called the doctor's office a couple of times to see if they would let us in the surgery room with you. They wouldn't. I asked if they would at least anasthesize you while we are still together. They wouldn't. I kept picturing you laying on a stretcher, them, reeling you away while you are crying for me, which mad me cry too.

We had to be at the surgery center around 6am, so we arranged a sleepover for Zoe, the night before. In the morning, you, me, papa, and the little pink turtle stuffy drove to the surgery center. The medical staff was fantastic in their ability to anticipate parental concerns and emotional triggers. They didn't put you on a stretcher or changed your clothes. they gave you your mask and a box of stickers to decorate it the way you like. Then a friendly nurse held your hand and ask to go skipping with you to the surgery room. Papa and i watched you two skip away laughing and chatting. When they called us back in, you were snuggling in the arms of the friendly nurse on a comfy chair. I was so relieved to see that you were in good and caring hands. But now it was my turn to hold you and cover you with love.

The first night you slept in complete silence. Your recovery was fairly manageable. You had moments of pain and discomfort. You barely ate the ice creams, and opted for a few popsicles and apple juice boxes instead. You ate very little that week. When you recovered, you started eating a little better than before, and sleeping seamlessly and quietly night after night. Your energy level skyrocketed, as if you swallowed a bouncy ball on super power batteries. And this is our new Echo. Sweet, adorable mega smiley as always, and now with super energy.

I love you so so much.

Mommy.

Hello Hawaii

My love Echo,

We were fortunate to spend a week in Hawaii for the 3rd year in a row. It's been a while, since we came back, so this is a short entry aimed to record your breakthrough with ocean adventures in history.

We all love Hawaii. This time we went back to Maui as it had more hotels right on beautiful beaches, and many natural sites to explore.

We were all excited to go to the ocean to snorkel around the colorful fish and the turtles, and to swim and play with the waves. You preferred to stay on the beach and build sand castles. When we were done, you'd ask to go to the bubble pool, your favorite attraction, and play the mermaid game. I"m a baby mermaid and you are a mommy mermaid. Zoe was a good sport, and loved the pool, and the ocean, so papa and I took turns entertaining you. In one of the occasions when I came back from swimming in the ocean, I found you in the salty water with Papa and Zoe, floating with the waves and having fun. Somehow papa convinced you to get in the ocean and play with the waves. And you loved it! From then on, you kept asking to play the wave game again and again. You let the waves take you all the way to the sandy shore, and pull you back into the water.

We had a great time in Hawaii but the Luau sucked. Now that you girls have been to 3 Luaus, we think we can stop this tradition of eating bad food and watching bad dancing.

I love you!

Mommy.

A Story by Echo Cabassi

My lovely Echo,

At Great Wolf Lodge, you dictated a story of your creation. I wrote it down, which I then copied to your blog. Your main character, named Echo, is complex and all encompassing. Read on...

Echo’s Greatest Adventure, by Echo Cabassi

June 23, 2018 Written at Great Wolf Lodge, Carnation, WA

Once upon  time there was a little girl named Echo, and she wanted to go for a walk. She wanted to go to the wading pool on her scooter, but she brought her bike too, just in case she wanted to bike home.

She found out that her friends weren’t there, but the wading pool was filled up. She did yoga on her mat and fell over. But it didn’t hurt. She kept on walking, doing yoga, and swimming. She found a bag floating in the wading pool. She bumped her head against it and cried loudly. In the bag, there was a baby named Echo. Her big sister, whose name was Echo too, and was five years old, said “oh no! I better rescue my baby!” She jumped in the pool and pulled her baby out of the bag and carried her home.

Echo, who scooted to the wading pool, disappeared into nowhere. Then she remembered that she forgot her bike and scooter in the wading pool. She was at home now. Then she climbed on a tree, and shed saw a nice bee – a disappearing bee. The TV disappeared too. Then she went back to the wading pool to get her yoga mat. It was completely messed up. “We have to wash it,” she said. There was another messed up yoga mat at the wading pool. It was her baby’s. Echo washed both yoga mats and they were sparkly clean. And someone gave her bike and scooter back to her. It was a giant monster. He came home for a visit. All three Echos and the giant monster became friends and lived together.

You are 4 Years Old!

My love Echo,

You had an amazing birthday celebration at the bouncy houses at Arena Sports. Your birthday celebration was on father's day, and the facility was fairly empty. The host decided to close off the bouncy area just for us, and everyone went wild. 

The parents had as much fun as the kids - up and down they went a little embarrassed, but also letting go. I wonder what you'll think of us when you watch your birthday videos when you are older. Graying hair, loosening bodies, tired eyes, bouncing up and down with their kids, everyone laughing.

While planning your birthday, you were all about mermaids. Weeks in advance, you picked a mermaid outfit for a gift - we also got you a new scooter because you are a big girl now - a big mermaid balloon, and Ariel themed cake. A couple of days before the party, you discovered Tinkerbell, and were completely taken by her fairy universe. As I was placing your cake order, I saw a Tinkerbell themed cake and called Dad, who asked you your preference. You didn't think twice and loved your Tinkerbell cake.

A week later we went to Great Wolf Lodge. A water park, so much more and nothing less than kids' paradise. Zoe spent a weekend there, as a birthday guest of her friend Izzie. You didn't know what Great Wolf Lodge was, but figured out that it was a cool place you'd want to go. Papa and I made sure you had a fun weekend with us. You also had a ballet performance. But your mind was with Zoe. On her return, as she was telling us about her time away, your face took on an expression of pain, fighting to hold back your tears. You just sat quietly, as I eyed Zoe and told her about the fun things you did. I didn't have it in me to have you feeling the way you did, so that week I made reservations for all of us to go to Great Wolf Lodge as a family. I reserved a suite themed after a wolf's den, and the rest was a week if anticipation and a weekend of fun. 

As much as I love having you and Zoe as my little girls, part of me wants you to grow up so I'm not always preoccupied with thoughts of your happiness and in search of ways to give you exciting experiences and loving memories. But I think these feelings will never go away, however old you are, and I will always

I love you so much.

Mommy.

Time to plan your birthday party

My love Echo,

Your birthday is two months away, but we already started making party plans. So far we have been celebrating it at home with the family, and at daycare, with your friends. This year a couple of your friends had birthday celebrations at other venues. You also witness birthday parties through Zoe's world, and its becoming obvious that you'd enjoy something a little extra this year.

A few weeks ago we went to your friend Emory's birthday party at the Seattle Gymnastics Academy. We dropped off our gift bag at the entrance, you bounced on the trampoline, played in the foam pit with your friends, and hung out with me. The celebration ended with snacks and a birthday cake. The staple balloon bunch was also part of the scene. On the way to the car you said: "Can we have my birthday party here too?" You don't tend to ask for things and when you do, you are indirect and stoic - no acting out, no air of entitlement. So there was no mistaking that this is what you want. "Of course we can. But there are other fun birthday places. Better ones. We can check out some other ones." I said. 

I seriously was not impressed by the venue. You and your friends are all 3 year old, one by one turning 4, and are just learning to play together. The place was big, with random stations here and there that most of you have never seen before. There was no moderator to guide you through, and most of the time you all wondered around, spent lengthy amounts of time sitting down, waiting for your turn on the trampoline - one child at a time - or clinging to your moms. But for one reason or another, you clearly enjoyed the experience. 

"I want it to be here," you said. "Then of course we can have it here," I said.

In the following weeks the topic came up a few times. I offered to take you to the bouncy house at Magnuson park where you used to play soccer, just so you see another option for a birthday celebration. Zoe was at Hebrew school with her friend Sonia. So you and I bounced and climbed and slid down the fast slides. Then papa took over and you continued to bounce. You were overjoyed by the experience. "Would you like to have your birthday party here or where Emory had hers?" I asked. "Here!" You said. I will reserve your spot!

After quitting Amazon, I was going to take some time off work, and spend more time with you and Zoe. I started volunteering in the baby room at your daycare in exchange for lower fees,  picking up Zoe right after the bell instead of her 'after school' program. You both got sick multiple times within a few weeks, and I was able to look after you without juggle, compromise, or added stress. But luck came knocking, and I found a new job quickly. They agreed to postpone my start date and we went to visit all the family in Italy and İstanbul. I would have loved to have a longer break from work and be with you more. My adorable Echo. 

There are advantages to being a working mom... There is a great toy store a block away from the office. I stop by from time to time and pick things for you and Zoe. I carefully browse through the different sections, picturing you play with them. I bring somethings home every now and then. Better yet, I've been building a small collection of toys and art activities to keep you and Zoe entertained when you come with me to work once in a while this summer. I also picked up a gift for Emory from that store. The day I brought it home, I also got something for you and for Zoe. You both loved your gifts. Then you noticed Emory's piano book. "We didn't play with this one yet," you said. "That's for Emory's birthday," I said, my heart breaking a little, as I read your feelings. My humble Echo that never throws a fit when she wants something. "Is that ok?" I asked? You waves your head as "yes." But you kept looking at it, your heart reaching out to it through your eyes. I couldn't blame you. It was a cool book with an integrated piano. You have something similar, which is a hand me down from Zoe. She still plays with it too, but she is so good about sharing and accepting that most toys at home belong to both of you. But this book WAS cool. I could see that. I came close to you and asked again if you were ok with it being a birthday gift for Emory. I reminded you that I came home with a gift for you, for Zoe, and for Emory. You said yes. I said you could play with it a little, but gently. A big part of me wished you'd ask to keep it for yourself, but you didn't. I went back to dinner preparations as you and Zoe gently tapped on the keys and flipped the pages. A few minutes later you came to me and quietly said, "for my birthday, I want this book too." You were so noble, accepting, and that hidden sadness... This was the last book of its kind at the store, and even if it wasn't, your birthday was still months away, and I could not wait another second without seeing you happy. I knelt down and held you. "Echo," I said, would you like to keep this book for yourself today?" You nodded. "It is a really cool book" I said. "Let's keep this for you and I'll get another gift for Emory. But you have to let Zoe play too." You were both so happy. What else is there to live for...

I love you so much. 

Mommy.

Night owl ballerina skiier

My lovely Echo,

Almost every night you go on a pilgrimage, climbing the steep steps to the master bedroom, carrying your pillow, sippy cup and the stuffy of the night. You rest your cup on the bed stand, and climb over me. Positioning your pillow between my pillow and dad's, you stay until the morning. You push, you turn, and ask for your water multiple times. Eventually you sleep, as I struggle to do the same with your arms and legs wiggling on me. But sometimes, I fall back to sleep like nothing happened.

Sometimes I hear you stump up the stairs. Sometimes I sleep so deep that I notice you only when you climb over me. If I sound like I'm complaining, you're wrong. I love it when you come up. Once in a while on weekends, and always if you have a cold, I scoop you from your bed in your sleep, and bring you up with me. Next day, I tell you about it - how I missed you and wanted to be close to you and how I took you in my arms in your sleep, and climbed the stairs to cuddle all night. Now that you have heard this story a few times, when I put you to bed at night, you ask me to carry you upstairs with me when it's time for me to go to bed. Whether I do it or not, you find your own way anyway.

You started ballet! When I brought up ballet, you got very excited about the idea, so I took you to a ballet studio to give it a try, and you loved it! The session started back in September. So I wasn't sure you were going to adjust, joining the other girls so late in the year. Then I watched you through the window - you were laser focused on your teacher, watching how she moves her legs and feet, and imitating her. Clearly you were having fun.  Last week your first performance. We all went as a family to watch you perform, like we used to with Zoe when she was a little ballerina. Zoe didn't want to miss your performance, so papa picked her up a little early from school so she can see her little sister dance.

Since it's winter, we started going to the snow again once in a while. I quit my job before the holidays, so we can't go skiing often anymore, but you love sledging too. "Again!" "Again!" you scream as you reach the bottom of a hill. You like skiing, but only on the "big mountains." The time we went skiing, I took you to the bunny slope to do the magic carpet while papa took Zoe up the ski lift. After a few runs, you asked about papa and Zoe. When you understood what they were up to, you protested. "I want to go to the big mountains!" you cried. We didn't have a ski pass for me, so I couldn't take you anywhere but the magic carpet. You were sad and I was sad. Papa took you up a few times with him while Zoe took a hot coco break. This made you feel better. I might be getting a new job soon. As a celebration, we are going skiing, and everyone gets a ski pass! I will take you to the big mountains this week!

Love,

Mommy.