The world has changed in a blink

 My Love Echo,

I could have done so much better keeping up with your blog. My last entry was on November 22, 2019. About a week later, my grandmother died. we were camping at the alpaca farm. It was 19 degrees Fahrenheit. We were so cold, we couldn't fall asleep. In the morning, I got a message from home that my grandmother died. My lovely tiny grandmother. We went to Hanky Pies at Granit Falls, not too far from the farm, to use the wifi and make travel arrangements. I flew home for the funeral. I came back as fast as could, not to be apart from you girls. A week later, a bad joke, my dad died. This time all four of us went to the funeral. He was getting ready to come visit us, as he did the year before, to celebrate his birthday with you and Zoe. You made him so happy when you started singing Happy Birthday to you Dede, all on your own, when the cake came. You still remember the candle that would rekindle, no matter how many times Dede blew it. We were his second chance in life. A short second chance.

Christmas came, and we went to Big White for skiing. Lots and lots of it. I had to pack lunch for you every day, because you wouldn't eat the food they served at ski school. I'm still hopeful that the day will come and you'll have what everyone else is having. But for now, I can think of worse things, so packing lunches is something that I can handle.

I was travelling for work quite a bit at the time. Which meant packing lots of lunches and planning for dinners even when I wasn't there.  We came back home in January, and life went back to normal. No one died, I had a couple more work trips, and in mid February, we drove to Big White again for mid-winter break. The news were mentioning cases of Corona virus in China, and a small outbreak in a nursing home in King County, WA, where we live. There was nothing alarming, or clear. Two weeks after the break, we were all told that we have to work from home. All work travel cancelled. A week later, the schools closed down. We were all homeschooling.  After a month and a half of homeschooling and working full time, I and many other parents at work took some time off work to focus on education.  

That spring and summer you mastered biking, scootering and roller skating. Wheels were not allowed around Greenlake, to keep the number of people out low. We practiced at the parking lot of the neighborhood Middle School. 

We celebrated birthdays online, on Zoom with friends, and at home with just the family.

Playgrounds were closed, activities such as gymnastics, soccer, all got cancelled. You ended up watching quite a lot of Youtube videos, while papa and I worked. Your love of art surfaced. You painted and colored along Moriah Elizabeth as you watched her, and started cutting squishies apart, so you can fix them like she does. I got you girls lots of art supplies. Of course, you wanted to do it all with me.

That summer, we discovered Winthrop. A fun little town in Eastern Washington, with bike trails, rivers, lakes. We got a special price at an inn by the river, with a pool, and we went there multiple times. Papa and I worked in the small room, our voices getting louder and louder in the meetings. You loved the pool there, and you learned how to swim without floaties. One week we went there with the Salander family which made things more manageable as we could take turns among four adults to watch you girls in the pool, or take you to ice cream in town. At winter, we went there for skiing, ice skating, and ice fishing, and of course, swimming in the pool, your favorite activity of them all. Each family at the inn got to reserve the pool for an our a day, and o matter what time of day, you still wanted to go and play.

in the Fall the school season started. Only that it didn't really. It was all remote. We formed a four-family pod, with 6 kids. Four 5th graders and two 1st graders, you and Jehan, and Mr. Nick,  to watch over you all. Jehan is polite and sensitive. You are spicy. We have been rotating homes every two weeks. It's not easy to fit six kids, tables and chairs in our little house. We keep the bedroom upstairs all tidy and zen, and put extra comfy chairs for you all to have a quiet corner when you need quiet. The pod has been an adventure like no other during times like no other. We have been having holiday parties - Christmass, Passover, Easter egg hunts, pod ski days, birthdays, and Wednesday happy hours. Nick is a music teacher, so on Wednesdays, he had been giving you voice and ukulele lessons. You enjoy playing the little instrument, and writing your own music.

It's been tough for you, not having girlfriends to play with. The 5th graders aren't always inclusive, naturally, they are older, and you've ben feeling left out. A few weeks ago they opened the schools for 2.5 hours a day. You seem to like going and seeing friends. You are all masked, and 6' apart. "I want to be really really close to my friends and touch them," you said. You are so loving, my Echo. You still come to snuggle with me at night. Walk up the steps, get under the covers. I still love your cuddles. I know they aren't forever. 

Last week you watched a video of Moria Elizabeth where she was experimenting with wool painting by felting it with needles. Knowing I love working with wool, you told me about it, and made me watch it too. You were right, I loved it. I ordered the supplies, and all three of us have been felting raw wool into 3D shapes, and also experimenting with 2D painting on felt. You expanded my horizon. You are happiness. Here is you, on the way to Leavenworth. 

And here is Bloom and her baby Lammy, our favorite stuffies lately.

I love you so so very much.

Mommy

My Echo is in kindergarten

My love Echo,

It's almost Thanksgiving, and I am thankful everyday, for the wonderful you.

You started kindergarten this year. Your teacher is Mrs. Tamura, and she is very calming. At home, you repeat some of the things she says,  and spread the calm. You rub our backs, and soothingly say "calm down, calm down." You taught me the rainbow breath, and hot coco breath, all intended to create internal tranquility :-).

Here is you and me, in the courtyard, the first day of school.

And here you are, in your classroom - room 116, sitting across from Jahan.

Our neighborhood school, Daniel Bagley is having renovations, so this year the school is at an interim location. You were familiar with Daniel Bagley, from your visits to Zoe. The new school is so big, even I get lost in it. On the bright side, you get to take the school bus every morning. I think walking to school with mama is the best, but for one year, you get to experience riding the yellow school bus. Next year, when you are in first grade, you me and Zoe will walk to school together again. Zoe and I used to love our morning times together. We used to take different routes, and check out the books in the "Little Library" boxes at the corners of some of the streets on our way to school. Next year you'll join us too.

For now, once in a while when I work from home, I visit you during lunch. I come unannounced, because I usually don't know if I can make it or not. When you see me, you turn to your friends with your beaming smile, body jittery with excitement, words spill out of your mouth "my mommy is here! my mommy is here!" In my first visit, I bought lunch for me at the cafeteria (you bring lunch from home) It included chocolate milk, which I gave to you. From then on, we made it a pattern that every visit, I buy cafeteria lunch and give you the chocolate milk. You eat very slowly, so we always move to the "extra time" table," missing some recess time. Then we go outside and play in the yard until bell time. Sometimes your friends join us. I line up with you, and walk with you and your friends to your classroom. It's hard to part. We eventually do, blowing kisses, making heart shapes, until we meet again at the end of the day.

You have a knack for numbers we think. You count for the fun of it, and when I review your school work, it's always right. But you have a mind of your own, and it's hard to get you to study things you don't enjoy. You get upset when we practice reading, probably because you don't know how to read yet and it makes you feel bad. So I'm learning to be patient and playful. Everybody eventually learns how to read, and so will you.

I love you!

Mommy.

First lost tooth

My dear Echo,

Few losses are occasions for joy, like the loss of baby teeth, and you lost your very first one.

In the last couple of weeks I noticed that you avoided biting into food with your front teeth. Multiple times I asked you if you had toothache. I was concerned about cavities, since you like your sweets so much. You said no. On our 4th of July camping trip, we stop by a small town restaurant to grab some lunch and there again, you pushed the food toward your side teeth. I leaned super close and thought that your lower front tooth looked a little crooked - like bent sideways a tiny bit.

"Do you have wiggly tooth?!" I asked in total surprise. It didn't make sense that you would. You just turned 5. I pushed my finger gently on your tooth and yes, it wiggled! Later on the campground, Zoe continued exploring your mouth and discovered a second wiggly tooth, adjacent to the other one. We all thought it was crazy and we we were all so excited for you. I started chopping your food into tiny bites.

A week later, during our Friday Family Movie Night, while having dinner on the carpet, you held your hand out, and with a confused face you said "this tooth just fell out." We were all super happy. At bedtime, Zoe let you her tooth fairy pillow where you hid your tooth and put it under your own pillow. At night, I took away your tiny cute tooth and left a $5 bill in its place.

It all happened so early and so fast that we weren't set up for it like we were with Zoe. For the time being, I stored your precious tooth in a ziplock bag, until the cute keepsake box arrived. Your tooth is now safe in the box, waiting for your other teeth.

I love you!

Mommy

You are 5 years old!

My love Echo,

You are 5! Yesterday we celebrated your birthday with your favorite cake - the purple cheese cake, made of purple yams, and gifts.

You asked for a Fluttershy pony, from the My Little Pony show, and a book where she is the main character. Your favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle, but you like them all, you have plenty of Twilight Sparkle dolls. Papa brought a huge calculator from work, with big friendly keys.

I also got you a doll, that looks just like you. She has curly brown hair, and "huge puppy eyes," as Zoe describes your eyes. It came with a little oven, a molding tray and some play dough so you can prepare food for her, feed her, and then she poops! So you get to change her diapers. Both you and Zoe really loved the doll. I loved her too. Playing with her made me realize that stopping after two babies was a good idea:-).

The week prior, we had a birthday party for your classmates at Seattle Gymnastics Academy. You all ran and bounced around, and then we had snacks and an amazing two-tier cake, with My Little Pony theme. Your friends brought you gifts, and everyone had a great time being active.

Now that you are 5, it's your time to start kindergarten. You recently had preschool graduation ceremony which was amazing. You all made your own graduation caps and your own tie-dye shirts. Yours looked like it was made professionally. So much so that Zoe borrowed it to wear as a sleeping gown at a sleepover.

Since I haven't been writing frequently, let's capture a few other things that have been going on lately.

-You are spicy and feisty, also sweet and so loving. You are our number one fan - mine, papa's, Zoe's. Sometimes you say things that utterly melt us. You always tell us that we are the best, and you give us hugs and kisses

-When papa went to Canada, he asked you over the phone what you'd like him to bring you:
-"Anything you bring me is special enough" you said with your sweet musical voice.

I was holding you in my arms, as I often do:
-"Your arms are my safe place" you said.

-You are always ready to help us with anything we do. When papa was working in the yard, you asked "do you need help with that?" when you saw Zoe do her homework, you asked "do you need help with that?"

You have been secretly eating from the stash of chocolates I keep separately, and give a piece to you and Zoe after your bath. A practice I learned from my grandmother. My mom once told me that my grandma used to put a piece of candy in the pocket of her bath robe. So I've been doing the same for years. I started with Zoe, and continued the practice with you. Well the stash has been disappearing. Zoe also knows about the stash, but she doesn't sneak up into the kitchen and eat the chocolates. So I moved it to a higher shelf, hidden from the eye.

You've been sucking your thumb less and less. We told you that we'd take you to Disneyland if you stopped sucking - we would take you either way, but just to give you a bit more motivation. But I think we have Zoe to thank for. She established a reward system where she gave you one of her stuffies if you went a day, 2 days, 3 days without sucking. We let you suck at night when you were trying to fall asleep. Looking around Zoe's room, I noticed that she barely had any stuffies. "Echo's effort to quit thumb sucking has been draining my stuffies," she said jokingly. Zoe is an amazing sister.

I love you my baby Echo. Can't wait to celebrate your next birthdays.

Mommy

The life outdoors

My lovely!


Winter came and went, and with it a new snow child is born. The little girl who would ski only between her mama's skis, holding onto her mama's poles is to be seen no more. Instead, there is a snow monster, who zooms down the slopes at light speed, scaring her parents, who yells at people who want to help her get off the chair lift, because she can do it all by herself, a monster who wants to get on the "expert chairlift" and ski down the most difficult slopes, legs shaking, a monster who goes up levels as fast as she skis, and keeps on skiing even if she can't feel her frozen fingers.

We had lots of snow time this year - Sunday lessons at Alpental, winter break at Big White in Canada. I already made reservations for 4 weeks of skiing at Big White next winter. I can't wait to ski  with you again.

Skiing is not the only thing we did this winter. We also went to an alpaca farm. We stayed in a yurt, which is a slightly more protected tent. We cuddled all four of us in one bed to stay warm. It was a working farm where we joined the morning chores, feeding the alpacas and the chicken, and cleaning their living space. We got to rake lots of poop, and papa hauled them away with a big shovel. The alpacas were so curious about us. The first day you were scared of the alpacas, especially of the one llama - was bigger than the alpacas. But you were calmer on the second day. Both you and Zoe got freshly laid eggs, and we made an omelette at the outdoor kitchen. It rainy and cold, but great fun. We went hiking on the snow, and warmed up in a cafe in town. We loved it so much that we will be back during sheering week in summer.

They make yarn out of the sheered fiber. On our second night, I stayed up until past 4am, knitting 2 hats from the yarn of the alpacas on the farm. The main house where we check in had a bowl of chocolate. Every time we stepped in, you girls took multiple pieces. You still love chocolate and deserts. And I love you.

Mommy

Echo every day

My lovely Echo,

I thought you might want to look back and know how you spend your day to day.

Here is what you are up to at age 4:

You go to gymnastics once a week. We signed you up for a more "professional" track, because that was the only class at the same time as Zoe's. The class is at 4pm on Mondays, so in most cases Faith picks you and Zoe up from school and drives you to Ballard. I put extra snacks in Zoe's backpack for you. When Faith can't make it, usually papa and sometimes I take you to your class.

On Saturdays you go to ballet in the morning, and to Italian class in the afternoon.

On Fridays, your preschool closes at 3:30 in wintertime, so you and I hang out at the doughnut shop across the street. They have strong wifi, so I do my work, while you devour a doughnut. We always step in with an exciting anticipation of the one with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles - your favorite kind. If they have it, it's a great day! If they don't you settle for a different kind. Recently you discovered that they also sell ice cream, and I think going forward, if they are out of your favorite doughnut, you'll be opting for a scoop of mango sorbet.

Listening to you talk and having conversations with you is exhilarating, and you talk so much. Zoe used to be the same at your age, but you used to be on the more quiet side. I think it's also due to the surgery. You have so much more energy. You talk to Zoe at dinner table or when we are driving, and it is the cutest and the most unbelievable thing.

You are happy and generous with your hugs and love. You still love to be carried, and if you are tired, you still lay on my lap, or rest your head on my shoulder if you are in my arms. When Zoe's friends come to play dates, you give them plenty of hugs.

You still say water-lemon, and raccoon, instead of cocoon, as in the caterpillar got into the raccoon.

You absolutely love horses. The hobby horse I got from Goodwill has been seeing a lot of use. You ride on it while watching a show about horses, you also feed it, decorate it with ribbons, and wipe it clean. during harvest (Thanksgiving, Halloween) I searched for a pumpkin patch that specifically had pony rides, thinking you'd be thrilled, but you were too scared to ride. I should have insisted, even forced you. I'm sure you would have wanted to ride it again and again, because that's just how you are. You are a little scared of trying at first, and once you do, you love it.

When you go to bed, you ask me to come later and carry you upstairs, which I still sometimes do.

On to a few specific memories:

On the last day of school before the winter break both you and Zoe had pajama day, and on top of it all, Zoe also had a Silly Sweater day. So the night before she and I were in her room decorating a sweater in  a holiday theme using gift box shaped Christmas tree decoration, bows, stocking, and ribbons. You came and saw us in action, then immediately left. While Zoe and I continued working on our masterpiece, you came back in to ask if you could have some ribbon and some tape. I went to peek in your room and you were half way done decorating a shirt you pulled from your closed in the same style Zoe and i were decorating her sweater. And you did an amazing job, cutting and taping. "would you like some socks too?" I asked. Yes! you said. We pinned two socks on the shirt, and in the morning, we put a chocolate coin in each one.

When I picked you up from school, you told me all excited, that at nap time you ate the chocolate coins without the teacher seeing you.

I love you so much!

Mommy.

Shhh... Echo is sleeping so deep

My love Echo!

I'm finally coming around to write about one of your biggest events of the year.

You had tonsils and adenoid surgery in the last week of August. You are now sleeping deeply and quietly throughout the night. And  with the tonsils and adenoids gone, you are unstoppable throughout the day.

Since you were a baby, your breathing has never been smooth. Nights were consistently restless and noisy with light but continuous snoring sound. There was rarely a night that you wouldn't wake up, climb up the steps to snuggle with us, and continue to wake up multiple times. Mornings were tough, as you woke up tired, and during the day, you didn't display the level of energy I'd see in other kids. You ate so little too. you were prone to sinus infections more than what we were used to from Zoe. You'd make a weird popping noise with your nose and say "I'm popping my nose."

When you were three years old, things got worse. You started snoring louder and having sleep apnea, suddenly waking up, unable to breath. We started taking you more frequently to our bed because I was worried you'd stop breathing. I kept listening to your breath at night. I do love cuddling with you, so now I had an excuse:-). When the first ENT doctor said that you need surgery, we sought counsel with another one, in case a surgery could be avoided. The second doctor tried a couple of different antibiotics that seemed to make a small difference at first, but things went back right back to the way they were soon after each course. We knew surgery was needed, but were worried about the risks. Eventually I talked myself, and then dad into the necessity of the surgery and scheduled the procedure. We explained to you what was going to happen, making sure to emphasize the change the surgery will bring in your breathing quality, and the ice creams and Popsicles you will eat as part of your recovery. Zoe joined in in emphasizing the positive, politely asking whether she'd get a share of the ice creams too. Of course she would! You were apprehensive about the surgery, but it was clear to us that you understood the need. When people asked you about it, you told them that they were going to remove the thing in your nose, and make you breath better.

I made arrangements to work from home the whole week of your surgery. I asked you what flavors of ice cream you wanted, and I filled the freezer with a large variety. I also bought a few new toys, to keep you entertained during your recovery. I called the doctor's office a couple of times to see if they would let us in the surgery room with you. They wouldn't. I asked if they would at least anasthesize you while we are still together. They wouldn't. I kept picturing you laying on a stretcher, them, reeling you away while you are crying for me, which mad me cry too.

We had to be at the surgery center around 6am, so we arranged a sleepover for Zoe, the night before. In the morning, you, me, papa, and the little pink turtle stuffy drove to the surgery center. The medical staff was fantastic in their ability to anticipate parental concerns and emotional triggers. They didn't put you on a stretcher or changed your clothes. they gave you your mask and a box of stickers to decorate it the way you like. Then a friendly nurse held your hand and ask to go skipping with you to the surgery room. Papa and i watched you two skip away laughing and chatting. When they called us back in, you were snuggling in the arms of the friendly nurse on a comfy chair. I was so relieved to see that you were in good and caring hands. But now it was my turn to hold you and cover you with love.

The first night you slept in complete silence. Your recovery was fairly manageable. You had moments of pain and discomfort. You barely ate the ice creams, and opted for a few popsicles and apple juice boxes instead. You ate very little that week. When you recovered, you started eating a little better than before, and sleeping seamlessly and quietly night after night. Your energy level skyrocketed, as if you swallowed a bouncy ball on super power batteries. And this is our new Echo. Sweet, adorable mega smiley as always, and now with super energy.

I love you so so much.

Mommy.

Hello Hawaii

My love Echo,

We were fortunate to spend a week in Hawaii for the 3rd year in a row. It's been a while, since we came back, so this is a short entry aimed to record your breakthrough with ocean adventures in history.

We all love Hawaii. This time we went back to Maui as it had more hotels right on beautiful beaches, and many natural sites to explore.

We were all excited to go to the ocean to snorkel around the colorful fish and the turtles, and to swim and play with the waves. You preferred to stay on the beach and build sand castles. When we were done, you'd ask to go to the bubble pool, your favorite attraction, and play the mermaid game. I"m a baby mermaid and you are a mommy mermaid. Zoe was a good sport, and loved the pool, and the ocean, so papa and I took turns entertaining you. In one of the occasions when I came back from swimming in the ocean, I found you in the salty water with Papa and Zoe, floating with the waves and having fun. Somehow papa convinced you to get in the ocean and play with the waves. And you loved it! From then on, you kept asking to play the wave game again and again. You let the waves take you all the way to the sandy shore, and pull you back into the water.

We had a great time in Hawaii but the Luau sucked. Now that you girls have been to 3 Luaus, we think we can stop this tradition of eating bad food and watching bad dancing.

I love you!

Mommy.

A Story by Echo Cabassi

My lovely Echo,

At Great Wolf Lodge, you dictated a story of your creation. I wrote it down, which I then copied to your blog. Your main character, named Echo, is complex and all encompassing. Read on...

Echo’s Greatest Adventure, by Echo Cabassi

June 23, 2018 Written at Great Wolf Lodge, Carnation, WA

Once upon  time there was a little girl named Echo, and she wanted to go for a walk. She wanted to go to the wading pool on her scooter, but she brought her bike too, just in case she wanted to bike home.

She found out that her friends weren’t there, but the wading pool was filled up. She did yoga on her mat and fell over. But it didn’t hurt. She kept on walking, doing yoga, and swimming. She found a bag floating in the wading pool. She bumped her head against it and cried loudly. In the bag, there was a baby named Echo. Her big sister, whose name was Echo too, and was five years old, said “oh no! I better rescue my baby!” She jumped in the pool and pulled her baby out of the bag and carried her home.

Echo, who scooted to the wading pool, disappeared into nowhere. Then she remembered that she forgot her bike and scooter in the wading pool. She was at home now. Then she climbed on a tree, and shed saw a nice bee – a disappearing bee. The TV disappeared too. Then she went back to the wading pool to get her yoga mat. It was completely messed up. “We have to wash it,” she said. There was another messed up yoga mat at the wading pool. It was her baby’s. Echo washed both yoga mats and they were sparkly clean. And someone gave her bike and scooter back to her. It was a giant monster. He came home for a visit. All three Echos and the giant monster became friends and lived together.

You are 4 Years Old!

My love Echo,

You had an amazing birthday celebration at the bouncy houses at Arena Sports. Your birthday celebration was on father's day, and the facility was fairly empty. The host decided to close off the bouncy area just for us, and everyone went wild. 

The parents had as much fun as the kids - up and down they went a little embarrassed, but also letting go. I wonder what you'll think of us when you watch your birthday videos when you are older. Graying hair, loosening bodies, tired eyes, bouncing up and down with their kids, everyone laughing.

While planning your birthday, you were all about mermaids. Weeks in advance, you picked a mermaid outfit for a gift - we also got you a new scooter because you are a big girl now - a big mermaid balloon, and Ariel themed cake. A couple of days before the party, you discovered Tinkerbell, and were completely taken by her fairy universe. As I was placing your cake order, I saw a Tinkerbell themed cake and called Dad, who asked you your preference. You didn't think twice and loved your Tinkerbell cake.

A week later we went to Great Wolf Lodge. A water park, so much more and nothing less than kids' paradise. Zoe spent a weekend there, as a birthday guest of her friend Izzie. You didn't know what Great Wolf Lodge was, but figured out that it was a cool place you'd want to go. Papa and I made sure you had a fun weekend with us. You also had a ballet performance. But your mind was with Zoe. On her return, as she was telling us about her time away, your face took on an expression of pain, fighting to hold back your tears. You just sat quietly, as I eyed Zoe and told her about the fun things you did. I didn't have it in me to have you feeling the way you did, so that week I made reservations for all of us to go to Great Wolf Lodge as a family. I reserved a suite themed after a wolf's den, and the rest was a week if anticipation and a weekend of fun. 

As much as I love having you and Zoe as my little girls, part of me wants you to grow up so I'm not always preoccupied with thoughts of your happiness and in search of ways to give you exciting experiences and loving memories. But I think these feelings will never go away, however old you are, and I will always

I love you so much.

Mommy.

Time to plan your birthday party

My love Echo,

Your birthday is two months away, but we already started making party plans. So far we have been celebrating it at home with the family, and at daycare, with your friends. This year a couple of your friends had birthday celebrations at other venues. You also witness birthday parties through Zoe's world, and its becoming obvious that you'd enjoy something a little extra this year.

A few weeks ago we went to your friend Emory's birthday party at the Seattle Gymnastics Academy. We dropped off our gift bag at the entrance, you bounced on the trampoline, played in the foam pit with your friends, and hung out with me. The celebration ended with snacks and a birthday cake. The staple balloon bunch was also part of the scene. On the way to the car you said: "Can we have my birthday party here too?" You don't tend to ask for things and when you do, you are indirect and stoic - no acting out, no air of entitlement. So there was no mistaking that this is what you want. "Of course we can. But there are other fun birthday places. Better ones. We can check out some other ones." I said. 

I seriously was not impressed by the venue. You and your friends are all 3 year old, one by one turning 4, and are just learning to play together. The place was big, with random stations here and there that most of you have never seen before. There was no moderator to guide you through, and most of the time you all wondered around, spent lengthy amounts of time sitting down, waiting for your turn on the trampoline - one child at a time - or clinging to your moms. But for one reason or another, you clearly enjoyed the experience. 

"I want it to be here," you said. "Then of course we can have it here," I said.

In the following weeks the topic came up a few times. I offered to take you to the bouncy house at Magnuson park where you used to play soccer, just so you see another option for a birthday celebration. Zoe was at Hebrew school with her friend Sonia. So you and I bounced and climbed and slid down the fast slides. Then papa took over and you continued to bounce. You were overjoyed by the experience. "Would you like to have your birthday party here or where Emory had hers?" I asked. "Here!" You said. I will reserve your spot!

After quitting Amazon, I was going to take some time off work, and spend more time with you and Zoe. I started volunteering in the baby room at your daycare in exchange for lower fees,  picking up Zoe right after the bell instead of her 'after school' program. You both got sick multiple times within a few weeks, and I was able to look after you without juggle, compromise, or added stress. But luck came knocking, and I found a new job quickly. They agreed to postpone my start date and we went to visit all the family in Italy and İstanbul. I would have loved to have a longer break from work and be with you more. My adorable Echo. 

There are advantages to being a working mom... There is a great toy store a block away from the office. I stop by from time to time and pick things for you and Zoe. I carefully browse through the different sections, picturing you play with them. I bring somethings home every now and then. Better yet, I've been building a small collection of toys and art activities to keep you and Zoe entertained when you come with me to work once in a while this summer. I also picked up a gift for Emory from that store. The day I brought it home, I also got something for you and for Zoe. You both loved your gifts. Then you noticed Emory's piano book. "We didn't play with this one yet," you said. "That's for Emory's birthday," I said, my heart breaking a little, as I read your feelings. My humble Echo that never throws a fit when she wants something. "Is that ok?" I asked? You waves your head as "yes." But you kept looking at it, your heart reaching out to it through your eyes. I couldn't blame you. It was a cool book with an integrated piano. You have something similar, which is a hand me down from Zoe. She still plays with it too, but she is so good about sharing and accepting that most toys at home belong to both of you. But this book WAS cool. I could see that. I came close to you and asked again if you were ok with it being a birthday gift for Emory. I reminded you that I came home with a gift for you, for Zoe, and for Emory. You said yes. I said you could play with it a little, but gently. A big part of me wished you'd ask to keep it for yourself, but you didn't. I went back to dinner preparations as you and Zoe gently tapped on the keys and flipped the pages. A few minutes later you came to me and quietly said, "for my birthday, I want this book too." You were so noble, accepting, and that hidden sadness... This was the last book of its kind at the store, and even if it wasn't, your birthday was still months away, and I could not wait another second without seeing you happy. I knelt down and held you. "Echo," I said, would you like to keep this book for yourself today?" You nodded. "It is a really cool book" I said. "Let's keep this for you and I'll get another gift for Emory. But you have to let Zoe play too." You were both so happy. What else is there to live for...

I love you so much. 

Mommy.

Night owl ballerina skiier

My lovely Echo,

Almost every night you go on a pilgrimage, climbing the steep steps to the master bedroom, carrying your pillow, sippy cup and the stuffy of the night. You rest your cup on the bed stand, and climb over me. Positioning your pillow between my pillow and dad's, you stay until the morning. You push, you turn, and ask for your water multiple times. Eventually you sleep, as I struggle to do the same with your arms and legs wiggling on me. But sometimes, I fall back to sleep like nothing happened.

Sometimes I hear you stump up the stairs. Sometimes I sleep so deep that I notice you only when you climb over me. If I sound like I'm complaining, you're wrong. I love it when you come up. Once in a while on weekends, and always if you have a cold, I scoop you from your bed in your sleep, and bring you up with me. Next day, I tell you about it - how I missed you and wanted to be close to you and how I took you in my arms in your sleep, and climbed the stairs to cuddle all night. Now that you have heard this story a few times, when I put you to bed at night, you ask me to carry you upstairs with me when it's time for me to go to bed. Whether I do it or not, you find your own way anyway.

You started ballet! When I brought up ballet, you got very excited about the idea, so I took you to a ballet studio to give it a try, and you loved it! The session started back in September. So I wasn't sure you were going to adjust, joining the other girls so late in the year. Then I watched you through the window - you were laser focused on your teacher, watching how she moves her legs and feet, and imitating her. Clearly you were having fun.  Last week your first performance. We all went as a family to watch you perform, like we used to with Zoe when she was a little ballerina. Zoe didn't want to miss your performance, so papa picked her up a little early from school so she can see her little sister dance.

Since it's winter, we started going to the snow again once in a while. I quit my job before the holidays, so we can't go skiing often anymore, but you love sledging too. "Again!" "Again!" you scream as you reach the bottom of a hill. You like skiing, but only on the "big mountains." The time we went skiing, I took you to the bunny slope to do the magic carpet while papa took Zoe up the ski lift. After a few runs, you asked about papa and Zoe. When you understood what they were up to, you protested. "I want to go to the big mountains!" you cried. We didn't have a ski pass for me, so I couldn't take you anywhere but the magic carpet. You were sad and I was sad. Papa took you up a few times with him while Zoe took a hot coco break. This made you feel better. I might be getting a new job soon. As a celebration, we are going skiing, and everyone gets a ski pass! I will take you to the big mountains this week!

Love,

Mommy.

Your first play date

My Love Echo,

You are growing tall and beautiful, your curls dancing on your head, water-falling on your pretty face. Most days you refuse a hair clip or hair tie and want your hair free, like your soul. Once in a while, you let me put a pretty pin, which makes you look like a doll. You are in the Butterflies class now - Parparim in Hebrew. You've been there since you turned three. AS you see, I haven't been writing in your blog. My job at Amazon is all consuming, and I rather spend every available minute with you girls than writing about you. Plus by the time I get to sit down at night, I'm exhausted. But I still cherish every single thing you do or say.

Yesterday you had your very first play date with your friend Alice. You are both in the Parparim class, and often play together. You re too young to know about play dates, but you always see Zoe having friends over for play dates and sleepovers, or her going to her friends' houses. One day you declared that you wanted to have a play date too. "With Alice!" you said. I talked to her mom, and we arranged a play date at our place. It took a couple of weeks to find a date that worked for both families, so again, we encountered that complicated concept of time. You insisted that the play date is today, or tomorrow, and each time, I tried explaining to you that it is in two weeks, in a week, tomorrow... I was grateful when the day came. Another challenge was the location of the play date. Since we came up with the idea, we had to invite Alice to our place. But you wanted to go to her house. Explaining social norms to a 3 year old is no easy undertaking. Until the minute Alice showed up at our door, you insisted we go to her place. I was worried that you might not welcome her. But you did. You were both at disbelief and happy to see each other. I think that's when it downed on you both that you were having a play date. Unlike Zoe's play dates, I couldn't leave the room, though at first I attempted to. You girls decided to play with your stove, cooking supplies, and the picnic basket. You both kept bringing more and more food to the living room for me to eat. There were also occasions where you  two would argue about taking turns using a toy, so it worked better that I joined you. Alice was more willing to share compared to you, but I think this is because the play date was at your place, with your toys, so you had stronger feelings of ownership, and more affected by the idea of sharing.

Overall, the experience was a success. When Alice's mom came to pick her up, she started crying and you didn't want her to go. So we all hung out in the living room for a while longer as you girls played with the spinning red chair, and took turns spinning each other. Us the moms took turns as well, spinning you both at the same time. This was your favorite game.

By the way, Nonna and Nonno are visiting from Italy, and you are not very friendly. "Go away!" you tell Nonna. Or just yell at her if she starts talking to you while you are on a mission to come to me, watch a show, or do anything else. Nonno knows not to get in your way too much. Zoe used to act the same way when grandparents visited when she was your age. That's just how it is. You see them so seldom that you don't know them.

I love you my Echo. I will try to write more often.

Mommy.

You are 3 years old!

My Love Echo,

You slept with us in the big bed the night before your birthday. On a peaceful Sunday morning, I woke you up with kisses and happy birthday wishes. "Is it my birthday? Am I a birthday girl?" you asked, with smile and disbelief. "Yes," I said. "It's your birthday my love. Happy birthday!" "Am I a birthday girl?" finally reaching a cherished longing.

You are not as emotionally revealing as Zoe so sometimes it's hard to tell how much something means to you. You saw birthday parties where kids blow candles, get gifts or just radiate with the awareness of being special. Not understand why and whether your turn will come, you take it in sucking your thumb.  It's so hard to be a child and you are so dear to me that it breaks my heart.

We celebrated Zoe's birthday a few months early this year so she could have more of her school friends over. When we went to the bakery to pick her cake, I asked you to pick your birthday cake too. Excited, you looked through the pictures, and easily set your heart on a My Little Pony's cake with Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle characters. But your birthday was still 2 months away, which had no meaning for you. It's interesting as a grownup to see how the concept of time and of space does not exist for kids. Or maybe it does but in a non-linear way. So it's always tricky to find the right way to talk about things that happen over time. On and off we talked about the cake and what gifts you wanted - which too, were ponies.

The day before your birthday, we decorated the house  and went back to the bakery to order your cake. You still wanted the Ponies cake. "We're going to eat it," you said, implying today. Again explain that we'll have the cake tomorrow.

On your birthday, we went to pick up your cake. In every occasion Zoe made it known to others that it was her little sister's birthday. In the afternoon, our friend Geniva came to celebrate you with us. I revealed the big cupcake pinata I was hiding upstairs that Zoe filled with chocolate and candy the day before. Evert since our camping trip last year, you love the idea of banging pinata and having a candy rain.

You were so happy blowing the candles on your colorful cake, and eating the frosting. 

The next day we planned a celebration with your friends and teachers at daycare. In the afternoon, all three of us came to your class with cupcakes, shakers, underwater themed plates... I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the classroom was already decorated with a "Happy Birthday" sign. You were wearing a beautiful crown of colorful candles, and glowing with confidence. Your staple smile that leaves all else in the shadows was on your face. Your teacher Halley said you refused to take it off all day, except at nap time. You must have been boiling with excitement all day. 

We started off with reading books to your classmates. You sat on my lap on the couch, while Zoe sat with the audience on the carpet in front of us, holding Marella on her lap. Papa took pictures. After the book reading, everybody sang happy birthday to Echo as you blew the candles, ate cupcakes, and shook the little shakers to the rhythm of various songs, drew pictures and popped bubbles. As your friends continued with their routine, all four of us headed back home still decorated for your birthday.

I'm looking forward to every birthday we will celebrate together, year after year.

I love you.

Mommy.

Playful, Rebellious and Loving

My Echo,

You are pretty much potty trained. We diaper you at night, but you wake up dry. You stopped pooping on yourself forever. But lately, you've been having too many pee accidents. We've been doing a ton of carpet and floor cleaning, and extra loads of laundry. You refuse to sit on the toilet and pee. Both at home and at daycare, pee time became a stressful and time consuming ordeal involving incentives, entertainment and frustration. You stiffen yourself up so we can't make you sit by force. Last week we went to the movie theater. On the way out, I asked dad to take you to the bathroom. "Nothing came out" you said. 2 minutes later in the car "I need to go to the bathroom" you said. We stopped the car, your seat was already wet. I pulled you out and held you on the grass, to let you finish your business. You started pooping, like dog, outside some stranger;s house. My arms and legs were hurting from holding you hovering above the ground. Worried that the owner of the house would step out, I asked if you were done. "I'm pooping I'm pooping. OI'm not done yet!" you said every time. Papa gathered your droppings in a bag, as I wiped your butt. We were beyond frustrated as this was only one if the many accidents that weekend. In the car I said that if you continue with not going to the bathroom we might have to give it away. You became quiet. Zoe started crying.

Since I wasn't really going to give you away, I had to resort (re-resort) to the oldest trick in the book: Bribe you with M&Ms. Of course, it worked, but for how long do you expect to get M&Ms in exchange for pee?

You continue to love me and want to be with me. I feel the same toward you. You climb on my lap on the couch and say "I want all of you. I don't want to share you." At bed time, all three of us cuddle for a little while. "I want to be so close to you," you say, as you snuggle up against me. At other times, you continue to say "you are mine! I'm going to keep you forever. And you are not going to die." It's tricky to deal with such statements. I don't want to scare you but I also don't want to die. So I try to balance it all. "Everyone dies, but I'm not going to die soon," I say sometimes. Once you kept probing and I said I'll die when I"m older, not now. "But you are not getting old," you said. I let it go. Yes, I said, I'm not old yet.

I want to be with you forever too, Echo.

Love,
Mommy.

Mama Love, My Little Librarian

My love Echo,

Lately, you've been claiming ownership of people you care about. I'm pretty sure I'm at the top of your list.

Echo: "You are mine! I'm going to keep you forever. Don't die, and don't get lost."

I love you too, my Echo:-).

Speaking of getting lost, we were at the neighborhood park for Zoe's soccer practice. After the practice all the kids went to play in the area with a few tall trees, while the parents chatted. At some point, papa and I saw you run out of the wooded area into the clearance, looking distressed. When you saw us, you started running our way. We hugged you, and asked you what happened. You searched for words, and then finally you said:

"I was in the jungle. Then I was gone. I couldn't find myself." Did you get lost, papa asked. "Yes, I got lost in the jungle," you said. I love the way you express yourself.

But you found us!, we said, with a smile. "Yes," you said happy.

One of your teachers has been asking me to come to your class for book reading one day. This week, I finally made the commitment. I wanted to make sure I bring books that you all can relate, understand and enjoy from the get go - unlike some books that you grow to love more after a couple of readings, as you understand the details. I remembered that a few months ago, we really enjoyed one of the library books we checked out, but I couldn't remember the name. When we went back to the library to look for it, I didn't know where to begin. I couldn't quite remember the plot, or the characters. I told the librarian that we were looking for a book about a couple of animal characters, though I wasn't sure what they were - a bunny? a squirrel? I had no idea. I said they had a red balloon that flew away, and they were chasing it... We both like the book... Naturally, she looked at me, clueless. I said one of the title words was Pip. All this time, I was carrying you in my arms, and apparently, you were attentively listening to the conversation. "And Posy" you said. I looked at you in disbelief, amazement, admiration. That's it!Pip and Posy was the name! The librarian was very surprised as well. It's been several months since we checked out that book, and we had it for only a couple of days. You always listen, think, and quietly process what you hear.

I love you my little star!

Mommy

Recollection of months past

My Dear Echo,

It's been almost 3 months since I last wrote in your blog. We've been busy having fun, with lots of family time. First the Holiday Season, then the mid-winter school break. You discovered ice skating and skiing, and you love them all.

Initially, for the mid-winter break, we planned a family ski trip to a Canadian ski resort with daycare, where we would leave you while we go skiing, because you are too young to qualify for any ski lessons. I pictured us dropping you off, and heading out to the snowy mountains, adorned in ski gear, enjoying the air, the snow, the speed, and the beautiful scenery. You, crying as we part, your arms reaching to the air, as I walk away; locked up in a windowless room all day, wearing a pair of soft pants for comfort. I can't do it, I said.

We still took the time off work, and instead of going to a ski resort in Canada, we drove every other day to the local ski mountain Snoqualmie. You still didn't qualify for ski lessons, but we rented skis and boots for you, and took you skiing ourselves, in a pair of brand new pink goggles. Some of the time Zoe was in ski lessons, and other times she skied with us. You loved it. You learned to ski straight onto the magic carpet and let it take you up the hill. But you loved the chairlift more. Both you and Zoe have been enjoying skiing so much, that we've been going to the mountains past the school break. Papa has been doing a lot of driving these days. We decided to go for night skiing one Friday after school, so I can test a new pair of skis. Inching our way through Seattle rain traffic, half way into our trip, you started vomiting. Your ski outfit was soaked and nasty. We still had a long way to go and it was getting late, so we decided to bail out and head back. First Zoe started crying, because she was so looking forward to skiing. It took you a while to understand that we changed out plans. And when you did understand, you started crying "I wanna go kiing, I wanna go kiing." We decided to go to a mall in the area to keep you two happy and entertained while waiting for the traffic to die down, and to get you into clean clothes. And we went back skiing a few days later! Nine and Dede came with us too, as they were in town visiting. More on that in a separate post.

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"Are You Happy?"

You are sweetly concerned about how I feel, and you want me to be happy. We just came home after a long day, and I was rushing to clean up your lunch boxes, getting dinner ready, and also preparing snacks for you and Zoe who is always hungry. Early evenings are crazy times. You just peed or pooped and needed washing. I washed your butt in the sink, and in a hurry, passed you the towel, asking to dry yourself. No, you said. You do it. I sighed, as I took back the towel. I mush have had an expression that triggered something. You paused, looked at me, and asked "are you happy?" "Do I look happy?" I said. "I just got home, I have so much to do, I just asked you to dry yourself with the towel, and you said no. So no, I'm not happy about that." When I was done drying you, I went to the kitchen. Shortly, after, you showed up, wearing diapers and pants! "Did you dress yourself?" I asked, with excitement. I gave you a big hug, a big kiss and thanked you. "I put my clothes on. Are you happy?" you asked. "Yes, I'm very happy. YOU make me happy." I said. You looked happy and beaming. "I made you happy," you said. Ever since that day, you've been asking the same question every time you notice an expression of discontent on my face. It is so sweet of you to check on me like this. Many times after I wash your butt, you go grab clothes, saying "I will make you happy," and put them on by yourself. You are a very special girl.

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Valentines!

Everything is a celebration with girls, and Valentine's Day tops the list! Last year we spent the night in a downtown hotel. This year, I prepared a big basket of gifts, treats and Valentines art supplies. We decorated the house together the night before. We also set the dinner table appropriately for the theme of the event, and papa brought just the right balloon!

The excitement was spectacular. I will miss these excitements when you girls are all grown up.

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"I'm Drowning!"

You are a funny girl, Echo. You do strange things intentionally, just to make us laugh. At dinner table one night you slowly moved down down down below the table level, yelling "I'm drowning, I'm drowning." We all broke into laughter and said "you are funny Echo!" "I'm funny!"

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Thumb Love!

Sometimes we stop by the library across from your daycare, on the way home. One evening, you picked a book about a girl, Lulu, who used to be a thumb sucker, but eventually gave up on the habit. You made me read it again and again, each time, getting a little scared when she relay a nightmare where her front teeth grew so big, like a rabbit due to thumb sucking. You pulled your thumb out, but eventually, it made its way back in. Sooner or later, you will stop sucking your thumb, my little sunshine.

I love you, Echo.
Mommy

Fish bone

My super awesome baby Echo,


Saturdays are a constant rush, with gymnastics and Italian lessons, groceries, errands that did not get done during the week, laundry piles, birthday parties... We look forward to Sundays to wind down a little, and spend quality family time. Like we did a few Sundays a go... We went to the movie theater to see the new Trolls in 3D, chomping on popcorn, marveling at the colors, and the creatures pooping cupcakes. We strolled over to the nearby sushi place for lunch. Bites of sushi, sashimi and rolls, travelling on little plates, on the conveyor belt. We picked the dishes we liked, as they passed by our table.

"My mouth hurts" you said, at some point during the meal. I looked for mouth sores, but didn't see any. I tried to feed you some rice, you tried to eat... "My mouth hurts" you said again. I looked carefully to see if I missed something, or if your throat was red, but I saw nothing. "Go away pain" you said. We talked about it, and kept exploring. Then I saw the fish bone! It was at the very back of your throat, stuck to one side. I put my fingers in your mouth, but couldn't reach. We tried again and again going deeper. If we only had clean long tweezers...

Since it was Sunday, we had to take you to Urgent Care at Seattle Children's Hospital. And absurdity ensued. The Urgent Care doctors said that given the risk (what risk?!", we needed to be transferred to the emergency department, where we waited close to 2 hours, being visited by a nurse, a student doctor, another nurse, no one daring do a thing, and us sitting in a room, waiting. The solution would have been so simple for any person with or without medical degree: Take tweezers, ask child to open mouth, pull the bone out. But in America, whether in a hospital or the corporate world, noone dares take action. I shuffled through the supply closet in the room, hoping to find an appropriate tool I could use to pull out the bone, but there was nothing for the purpose. Finally the big master doctor came in with 2 assistants. they lay you down. Under the doctor's supervision the nurse took a pair of long tweezers, and pulled the bone from inside your mouth. A couple of weeks later, we received a bill of $1200 in the mail, to be paid out of pocket, not covered by insurance. Anywhere in the world, whether advanced or underdeveloped, this would have been either free or just a few bucks. People envy that Americans earn big numbers. What's the point, if it's all for a farce? Next time, we'll go to the pharmacy and buy long tweezers, and solve the issue for under $10 and under 10 minutes.

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Ponies!
Dinner at a local pub, waiting for our meals to arrive. We were all hungry and tired from the long day behind us, and you girls were getting impatient. I reached in my pocket, and quietly pulled out a tiny little plastic pony and placed it on the table. You girls marveled. A few seconds, I pulled out another one, same size, different color, and quietly placed it on the table. You girls became more and more intrigued. Then I reached for the third time and pulled out yet a third pony and placed it on the table. In your eyes, this was magical, exciting, and fun. 3 little plastic ponies that I picked up from the office that day, made your evening...

And more...

On the way home from daycare one evening, your sweet voice pretending to be mommy, a gentle smile on your lips you said: "I have something for youuu. It's in my pocket." "What is it?" I asked. "It's ponies!" you said, and passed me the imaginary pony. And another one... It's so fulfilling to see that my action made an impression on you - a positive one. And such a simple action. Papa and I are blown away sometimes to see how easy it actually is to make kids happy. Months later, you still reward from time to time on our ride back home from daycare with this same enactment.

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Dancing girl

You love dancing, and you love your weekly dance classes at daycare. You talk about them sometimes on the way home. Once I asked you to show me the moves. And you did. We stood side by side, and you taught me the dance moves you do in class, pretending you are bears, frogs, leafs blowing in the wind... Since then, you occasionally take my by the hand, and guide me to a spacious area saying "I'm going to teach you the dance moves."

I love you so much my little energy bird.

Mommy

Do you have boobs?

My Little Echo,

I wonder if you still remember the times you used to nurse...

It was bed time. You, me and Zoe were cuddling in the bunk bed.

"Do you have boobs?" you asked.
"Yes, I do," I said.
"Do you have milk in them?" you asked.
"Not anymore, but I used to," I responded.
"I drank it all!!!" you declared.

You've been occasionally asking if you could drink milk from me, even though you know I don't have milk anymore. I think you are curious about the response I give, or the conversation the question triggers.

Papa's birthday weekend:
Since our trip to Hawaii, you've been asking to swim in a bubble pool. I really wanted you to experience that again. And Zoe has been asking to go to a fancy hotel, like the one we went for Valentine's day. So on and off, I've been searching for a nice place we could spend a family weekend. Having a hot tub as a requirement limited the options, also factoring availability, cost, distance, a luxurious look, per Zoe. Not many hotels have pools or hot tubs in the area.

Papa's birthday was just the occasion to renew my search. After endless website visits and phone calls, I found a resort, only 30 minutes away that had a hot tub, and ice cream and chocolate malt balls all day! First I booked 1 night, then with papa's encouragement, I switched it to 2 nights. I packed nice clothes for you both, and birthday decorations to keep you busy decorating the room. I was also looking forward to the on-site gym.

It rained a lot, so we didn't get to enjoy the outside space much, with the ponds, the fish and the lily pads. You girls loved the hot tub, the hotel room, and the overall space. Every time we left the room, on the way out, papa would make a stop at the relaxation area and give you each chocolates, from the continuously filled jars. You both made herbal bath salt mixes at the hotel spa which you used with pleasure in the bath tub. We gave you long baths every day, with bubbles, salts and herbs - spa bath Zoe calls them. The bath tub was large and comfortable. Papa joined you first day. Second day I washed you girls alone, and the 3rd day, I got in the tub with you, because I know how much you love taking baths with me. You both washed me with soaps and scrubs, and we were all so clean and smelled nice. You focused on my hair and my boobs. Mama gets no privacy.

In retrospect it was a fun weekend. But it was also very tiring to keep you both entertained, and make it a special experience for you. I didn't bring your sippy cups from home, counting on your superb fine motor skills to handle liquids in regular cups. But old habits die slow - you treated the cups as spill proof sippies, and ended up spilling everything you drank. All added a level of anxiety and required cleanup. In one such occasion you spilled the sweet sticky apple cider all over the couch outside the restaurant. By that time, I had enough of spilage, and sent you angrily away, to sit on the steps until you finish your drink, and I finish cleaning. Zoe has a very soft heart for you, and cannot handle the thought of you being sad. So she sat with you and consoled you. During this trip you also hit Zoe a few times for no reason, although we asked you to stop, until we had to give you time out, which broke Zoe's heart again, and just wanted a hug from you to make up for your deed, instead of punishment. I think overall, being away from home, although was fun for you, was also tiring and confusing, which made you more difficult to handle, especially at meal times.

By the end of the trip I was beat, and ready to be back at home. I told dad that we should take a break from family vacations until winter. At home you mentioned the bubble pool and asked to swim in it again. Your wishes become missions I want accomplish, because nothing is more meaningful than seeing your smile. So now, I'm starting to change my mind about not going anywhere for a while.

Love,

Mommy.

My little helper

My lovely little Echo,

I love having conversations with you.

Mommy: "Echo, my phone broke."
Echo: "Your phone broke?"

Mommy: " Yes. I was running to my car to pick you up from school. I didn't want to be late, so I was running real fast. Suddenly, my phone jumped out of my bag and CRASH! It fell on the ground. The little cat decoration flew across the street. I picked up my phone. It was cracked open. I snapped it together - snap. I looked, the screen was broken. I can't fix the screen.

At this point of the story, your face changed to pain, sadness, and desperation. I worried that you'd cry... "I will take it to a store tomorrow and they will fix it for you!" I said excitedly.

You brought your little fists to your cheeks, with a wide smile, and eyes bright open, "they will fix it for me?" you said with happiness.

"Yes, they will fix it for you!"

"Tell it again! Tell it again!"

We went through this exact dialogue for days in our commute to school and back. If you wanted to initiate the conversation at another time, such as during dinner, you'd ask "your phone broke?"

You are a very helpful little girl. When I come home with grocery bags, or am in the kitchen preparing meals, you come to me and say "I will help you." You help m put groceries away, set the table, wash produce, prepare salad... You always clean up after yourself when you are done playing. You even clean up after Zoe.

You are also well mannered, except when you declare that you farted or tell me "clean my butt!" If I'm having a meal or doing work, and you need me, you come and ask "are you all done?" If I say yes, you hold my hand, saying "come, I want to show you something" and lead me away.

I went to Italy for a weekend, for your uncle's wedding. The day I came back, you started calling Zoe with her name, rather than "Ayi." You say it so perfectly: Zowi.

I love you my little bundle of fire cracker.

Mommy.

Your first haircut, camping, bows, and your expressions

My lovely little star,

Your beautiful curly hair has been growing rich and wild, with your baby hair frizz, hanging on the edges. It was hard to get myself to take you to a hair dresser, because I love it so much. But it was time, and we knew you'd love the experience of being in a kids' hair salon, with the car chairs, cartoons on the TV screens, the hair styling the glitters, and the nail polish.

When your session came to an end, you receive a balloon, stickers and a lollypop, and you looked beautiful!

Your teachers say speech set you free, and that since you started expressing yourself verbally, your personality and your confidence, have been coming through. At home you were always confident, so I have not seen a personality change. But you do become even more enjoyable, friendly, surprising and assertive as your language grows.

Around the house, you always come up to us and ask "Hello, what are you doing?" Never forgetting to greet us first with your sweet "hello." If I"m doing something you find interesting, you add "I'm going to help you."

While driving, when I catch you suck your thumb at the back seat, which happens often, I ask you what's in your mouth. We pretend its a piece of fruit, and you give me some. I pretend to take taste, and spit it out, saying yucky, you are trying to trick me. You laugh and we repeat. I ask you not to suck your thumb. When I insist, you get upset. You pull it out, and put it right back in. On your face, I can see the struggle, and the failure, which leads to anger. Sometimes you kick your leg. "No. I kick you out of the car!" you say.

When someone touches you when you don't want to be touched, you put your hand forward and say "go away." Once papa replied "you go away," to which you replied "you go away," and this dialogue went on and on.

At bed time, you get under the covers without much resistance. By the time you go to bed it's so late that you are exhausted. "Mama cuddle," you say, persistently. By that time I'm exhausted too and I just want to sit on the couch and relax a little before I go to bed. You are a persistent little girl. "Mama cuddle," you repeat. "Mama cuddle with me." How can I say no?

Sometimes, after you fall asleep, I pick you up and carry you upstairs to sleep with us all night. Next day, on the drive to daycare I tell you about how I got you out of your bed, carried you to the big bed, we got under the covers, and cuddled all night. You ask me to tell it again and again, until we reach your daycare.

You have a nursery rhyme book, passed down to you from Zoe. The cover is designed like the head of a sheep, fluffy. You love reading the rhymes. So did Zoe. One of the pieces is called "Kitty in the Well" and it talks about a boy that threw a kitten inside a well, and another boy who rescued it. The illustration i of a boy holding a dripping wet kitty in his hand. To explain to you who is who, I once pointed at the boy who threw the kitty in the well and said "bad boy." This stuck with you, and became the highlight of the story. You point at the boy and say "bad boy!" and every time one of us does something bad or something the other person doesn't like - me, Zoe, or papa - you point at the person and say "bad boy!" The highlight for Zoe was the wet little kitty. She'd point at it ad say "o-oh o-oh!"

We went camping. Going camping with kids is hard work for parents - from set-up to feeding, to cleaning, to entertaining. But it can be magical for kids, and giving you the experience and seeing you happy is our satisfaction. It can easily turn to nightmare for all if the kids are not entertained. We got lucky that there were two girls in the camp site next to ours, which provided plenty of entertainment for Zoe. Partly your age, partly your personality, you were ecstatic.

We stopped by a local Walmart and bought you a new toy each, a pinata and a bag full of candy for you two to fill it. Everything we did was exciting to you - swimming in the lake, canoeing, sleeping in the tent, peeing in the bushes, running around wild, having tea around the camp fire... but most of all, you enjoyed eating shelled peanuts at night around the fire, and banging the pinata with a stick. More than 2 weeks after the event, you still talk about it: "I'm going to bang it!" We went hiking yesterday, and you used your walking stick to bang the rocks by the river bed, like a wild little warrior. Bang bang bang!

I love you!

Mommy

My Little Pony and other cool stories

Your sister Zoe decided it was time to introduce you to My Little Ponies. She put the show on the tablet, and the two of you started watching, and watching, and watching. Not only that you were hooked, but her interest in the show reawakened. Next day when I came back from a run, I found the two of you watching the show on the TV screen.

The shows fueled your interest in My Little Pony toys, which Zoe already had a few, and the good sister that she is, she passed them on to you. You noticed Applejack was not in the collection. Zoe wasn't a fan of Applejack, and it turned out that you are. I needed to go to Target anyway, so I offered to bring you along, to get you one. You got excited, "Buy Applejack!" you said. On the way to target, we went over our shopping list multiple times. "Hairbrush, hair color, diapers, buy Applejack!" When we got to target, you repeated "Buy Applejack." We browsed through our options. Of course you wanted them all, but soon understood that you needed to make choices, so you told me to put some of them back on the shelf. You picked one good sized Applejack stuffy, and one little hard pony. "2 Applejacks?," I asked. "Don't you want one of them to be Pinky Pie or Rarity?" The two other ponies that were missing from your collections. "No. Applejack," you said. Later that day papa had to go to Fred Mayer, and he came back with the other 2 little ponies. Your collection was complete. We made a little living space for them with food and water.

You were sick, so at bed time, I took you to bed with me, as I always do when you girls are sick. You broke fever and got all sweaty at night, so I changed you into my T-shirt, not to go all the way down to your closet. You were so amused to find yourself in my shirt when you wake up, you want to wear it to bed every time you see it.

I picked you up from school on the bicycle earlier this week. We were in a lot of hurry, because I had a time sensitive surprise planned for you two. It's a tough route, with lots of hills and lots of cars. I was pushing myself, pedaling as hard as I could, to the sweet sound of your unexpected cheers "You Can Do It! You Can Do It!"

Zoe is a very loving girls, and we often hear her say "I love you mommy." Last week you came to the kitchen while I was preparing dinner. You looked at me, and quietly said "I love you mommy." I don't know if you meant it, or were you just repeating because you heard Zoe say it. Either way, you knew it was something special that makes mommy super happy to hear.

"My Mommy!" you say, mouthful. "My Echo!" I say heartful.

I love you, my Echo.

Happy 2, and many more!

My baby love Echo,

We celebrated your 2nd birthday, though in my thoughts, I celebrate your birth every day. You are unique, independent, interesting, and incredibly cute. We had a party at your daycare, shaking pompoms, dancing, and eating cupcakes with your friends, the day before. Your teachers watched you in awe as you knowingly blew the candle.

On June 18, we celebrated at home with our little family. You don't know what a birthday celebration is, but you were quick to figured out it was something special for/about you. "It's my birthday. It's my birthday," you said, pointing at your self.

The theme of your cake was Minnie and Mickey hula dancing on a beach in Hawaii, since we just came back from Hawaii where we all had a great time. Papa made sure to pick balloons that matched the nautical theme.

Some interesting developments about you ,as you approached your 2nd birthday:

You can ride a bike! When you saw our excitement when Zoe started biking without the training wheels, nothing was going to stop you. We already had a bike waiting, a barely used hand-me-down from Zoe. After a few trials, you started pedaling on your own. You are slow and cautious, but it is still incredible. People stop and watch you with a smile. Some cheer you and congratulate you for your effort. I congratulate you for your determination. When you first started pedaling on your own, you;d say "Look at me! Look at me! I'm biking!" You already know how to turn the bike, and you are slowly figuring out how to go straight.  The bike is still a bit big for you, but in a couple of months, you'll be able to go downhill with more confidence, and pedal with more power.

You love Elmo, and lately, you have become absolutely crazy about Dora. You love the show and you love the books. "I need to poop," you say, and we go to the bathroom. "My tablet. Watch Dora." You sit on the toilet and watch, and interact with the show as Dora asks her questions. "The map! The map!" "No swiping!" "There it is!" "Right there!" You make us read the same Dora books over and over. Zoe went through a similar stage when she was your age.

You are about to transition to a new class. There's a little bathroom in the new class. I know you will love it and use it often. At pickup time you take me to that bathroom some times already. Your teachers said that you have been very ready for the transition. They are all amazed at your verbal development. One of the teachers said that since you gained your language, you have become more confident and more involved. She noticed that you even stand up more straight. I noticed that too. She asked me if we sing a lot at home because you knew the lyrics to some of the songs you all were singing in class. My amazing girl. I miss you all day.

Many happy birthdays to come!

Love,

Mommy

Farts are funny

My Baby Echo,

The birds that built a nest in our flower basked last year, came back to lay their eggs again. Three baby birds hatched, and are growing under the watchful eyes of mama and  papa birds. They bring food, and take the poop drops away, so the nest is clean. We are waiting for them to fly, so we can remove the dying plants, and plant new ones for the season. We don't want to water the basket, not to get the nest wet, or scare off the parents. I added a couple of laurel branches to shade the sun and hide the nest away from predators.

We love watching the birds grow and move about the nest, open their demanding beaks to gobble the worms, and cozy up to sleep. Lately, you and Zoe have been sleeping all snuggled up in the same bed. We got a bunk bed thinking you would enjoy sleeping in the same room, but lately you've been preferring to be in the same bed. So you sleep together for several hours, and some time during the night, you wake up, and cry for mama, and come upstairs to join us. You occupy so much space that I can barely sleep from that point on. I know it's not going to last forever, so I'm not complaining. I love having you close to me.

Going to bed is still a battle. We went through this with Zoe, for years, and the dame old struggle continues with you. Your friends go to bed at 7:30 - Rena falls asleep by 7:15. No matter what we try, you stay awake, and you want mama right there with you. Papa stays with you, and reads you a book. When its time to sleep, you cry, standing behind the door, until I come in the room. You don't give up.

A few nights a go, I took you to bed. You pointed at the upper level of the bunk bed. So we lay there. Zoe joined us too, under the condition that she would keep quiet. I could tell you had no intention to sleep. We cycled through moments of chatter, my threats to leave if you two aren't quiet, and seconds of silence. You broke one of those seconds with spitting raspberry sounds you make with your mouth. "I'm farting!" "I'm farting!" you declared. We broke in laughter.

A few days later, we were on the couch. I smelled something funky and asked if you pooped. "No," you said. "No poop." "I farted," said Zoe. You looked at me and confirmed: "Ayi farted."

You still call Zoe Ayi. You two were playing at the swings, in the back yard. Zoe got bored, and moved on to another game. You called her "Ayi! Ayi! Sit. Sit," tapping your hand on the seat.

You worry when Zoe cries. You come close "Ayi, Ayi" you cry out, standing right in front of her, concerned, and hug her. She loves your touches.

Every coin has two sides, they say, and it is so true. Every positive trait, has a flip side. You are very independent, and eager to do everything on your own. "Me me me" you say, pointing your cute little finger at yourself. You want to put your pants, shoes, shirts, everything on your own. Wash your hands, wipe your butt, and the list goes on... And you want to put your diapers on your own. It gets frustrating, because we are usually in a hurry, and as great as your fine motor skills are, you are not ready to put your diapers, or your socks on without help. When I take charge, hell breaks loose. Even though it gets frustrating, I still prefer that you want to do all these things by yourself.

You are my happiness. It is so easy to make you happy.

Love,

Mommy.